If you recently got married or planning to marry soon, this piece is for you. It is some of the top 5 reasons why marriages fail in Nigeria and its similar in other places.
I’m compelled to write this because a Facebook friend called me this morning and said “Bro Iyk, abeg how can I succeed in my marriage”?
Having being in marriage institution for more than 16 years I think I’m more than qualified to give this advise.
Love is sweet and marriage is a beautiful thing, but it is not a bed of roses. Trust me there are times you regret getting married but most times you will be glad you did.
Marriage is full of ups and downs, challenges and sometimes regrets for some people but I tell you, Marriage is a beautiful thing. Don’t let social media and wobe children make you think that every marriage will fail.
Whether your marriage will fail or succeed will largely depend on you, and maybe your luck or destiny. Somethings are just destined to fail no matter what.
BELOW ARE THE LEADING CAUSES OF MARRIAGE FAILURES IN NIGERIA/AFRICA.
1. LOVE & UNDERSTANDING: Marry who you love because if you truly love someone you can put up with anything and even overlook their flaws. No marriage will succeed without love and understanding. If someone doesn’t love you, every little thing you do will irritate them, and the more you try the more you piss him or her off because there is no love in the first place.
2. FLAWS: They are like bumholes, we’ve all got them. To succeed in marriage you have to focus on your spouse strengths and positives and overlook their flaws. If you focus only on the flaws that marriage will collapse within months or years.
I know that I’m a good man but I also have some flaws but my 5 wives are managing me like that, smiles….
3 FAKE FRIENDS: Sisters avoid bad friends, not every friend sending you congratulatory messages genuinely loves you, some of them are pained inside as to why you married before them or why you married that nice man. These snakes will feed you with bad advice till they ruin you. Are you going to let them succeed?
When you marry, as a wise girl there are some of your friends you need to cut off from, both male and female.
Those friends that only want to talk about clubbing, partying, the latest fashion items, unnecessary rivalry and competition should be cut off.
Even me I had to cut off from some of my friends, especially those that make no meaningful contribution in my life. They only come around to eat or drink alcohol, or they want to club, talk about women and some other senseless things. I don’t club, and neither do I drink alcohol, so I have like-minded friends. I have just 5 friends right now and they are more than enough for me.
My container arrived Nigeria 4 months ago and I had no money, 2 of my friends rallied round and paid the custom duty and made sure the container was cleared and goods distributed to my marketers. They give me good advice in business, marriage etc. What else do I want?
Many wise girls do change their phone number once they say I do and I think it’s a good idea. Less friends less bullshit and less drama.
4. IMPERFECTIONS: There is no man or woman that is perfect. But sadly many people are looking for a perfect husband or perfect wife lol.
Some guys want a young, tall, beautiful girl with very big standing breast, big ass, flat tummy, good job, good education, good cook, good character, etc.
Most girls want a tall, rich young man with 12 inch dick that will love them, shower them with gifts, money, expensive trips etc.
It’s fine to want to have the best but you that want all these qualities what are you bringing to the table? Even if God moulds or manufactures that kind of human being for you how do you know that person will even like you?
My own is, there is no perfect man or woman anywhere. Last year my friend married a babe bc she’s very beautiful, tall and intelligent, she’one of those Instagram celebrities.
Well whenever this girl gets angry she will destroy all their properties especially electronics and my guy is helpless. He is now considering divorce, just within 8 months of marriage?
5. COMPARISON: Most people make this mistake. We tend to think that other people’s marriage is better than ours. What happens in other people’s family shouldn’t bother you, you should focus on how to build your own home.
It doesn’t matter whether your friends married more beautiful wife.
It doesn’t matter whether your bestie husband changes her car every year. Do you know what sacrifices they make? Do you know what they go through in their marriage? You will only see what they want you to see.
Because your friends are using expensive phones and bags so you will not give your husband a breathing space, by the time you ruin your marriage with nagging or stubbornness you will be running from church to church looking for which enemy that is working against your marriage. Most people are their own worst enemies.
Finally, in all you do, whether you are a Christian or Muslim, prayer warrior or Atheist just pray you don’t marry an ass hole. Because if you marry an idiot nothing will work no matter how hard you try.
As a woman, if you like love and care for him, be clean, a good cook, intelligent, hard working etc a stupid man will never appreciate all your efforts because he is just an ass.
As a man, if you like you can have 12 inch dick, fuck her 3 times a day, love and care for her, give her love, care, attention, money, gifts etc if shes a stupid woman she will still find an excuse to go outside because she’s plain stupid. There are some human beings you cannot please no matter how hard you try. The worst thing that can happen to us is being good to an idiot.
May we not cross part with idiots and assholes